Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Today was starting to go well, then it decided to spit on me. If I was really emo, I'd say something like "Hey, sounds like my life story" but I won't.
Instead, I'll result to writing something that only Dan will read. Enjoy.
My day in a nutshell:
1) I woke up late because it was an advisory day. Score.
2) I got assigned to 3 out of the 5 main stage poets for the Dodge Poetry Festival field trip. Jacquie - 2, Wednesday - 0.
3) I attempted to print out crossword puzzle I made for a psychology experiment. Last night, I was running out of paper, so I sent an e-mail to Courtney, and she never got it. I failed in doing opening the file, and Courtney and I had to redo the whole thing, which resulted in missing part of French. I'd say that was a bad thing with a small perk on the side. I just discovered that I was not actually running out of paper. Fuck.
4) I was going to eat a free pizza lunch with the guidance counselors and Mrs. Leatherbarrow, but I was in such a craptastic mood, and I already missed some of French, so I didn't go. My lunch consisted of...Fritos. Awesome.
5) I found out that I did not make Women's Ensemble. Woohoo.
6) Some annoying people partially ruined our psychology experiment, but other than that, it went alright.
One good thing that happened over the weekend: Steph and I watched Aladdin and played with Pogs. It's amazing how we always seem to take minute things such as these and have so much fun with them. I wish all things could be this simple.
4:11 PM | Jacquie |
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Well, I haven't blogged for awhile because:
a) I fucked up my mom's laptop (Yeah, the one with the cable modem! D'oh!)
b)I just haven't felt like it.
I'm stressed out and mentally stressing about everything thing that isn't happening and what is yet to come. A waste of time? Possibly. I'm too bogged down to care.
All I'm going to do is say that I've spent a lot of alone time, and it's starting to get old.
Where's the spontaneity of the past? I miss it, and oddly enough, how everything seemed to last longer. The trip down Middle School memory lane at lunch is still toying with my mind.
I just want to stop time. Either that or make my family stop talking. I prefer the latter.
Well, I don't feel like typing. I feel like napping. I'll just send a special "shout-out" to one of my "friends":
You've slithered in and out of situations for too long...
...but you're not the snake anymore, are you?
I can't wait for that day.
I CAN'T WAIT.
7:15 PM | Jacquie |
Monday, September 13, 2004
Well, today was the first day of tryouts for Pocahontas and A Christmas Carol. Being towards the beginning of the alphabet has its up and downs, but I guess it didn't really matter for me...
(Wayne's World flashback transition - "Doo loo loo, doo loo loo")
(Scene: Jacquie stands on stage, directors Fichtman and Eisenberg and the rest of the people auditioning in audience. After protesting with Fichtman, Jacquie was forced to sing, following someone amazing, of course...)
Jacquie: Uh...my name's Jacquie Baker, and uh, I'll be singing "My Country Tis of Thee" (shrugs shoulders)
Fichtman: Come on!
Jacquie: Ohhh...(makes protesting facial expressions and movements)
(Audience yells, laughs, etc. Jacquie laughs again.)
Fichtman: (sings) My country tis of thee...
Jacquie: Ok...(starts laughing, then takes a deep breathe)...
My country tis of thee,
sweet land of liberty.
Of thee I sing.
Land where my...
something something (crowd laughs)
something something something...let freedom ring!
Fichtman: Ok, that's enough!
So yeah, not as I planned (because I planned NOT to sing as soon as she mentioned the option) but it was funny, and I wasn't embarrassed or something. Sean said I let down the country, but that's ok. I'm just glad that I, and some people, got a laugh out of it, which is right up my alley.
Tomorrow is the acting auditions and I'm so excited. I hope that I get a decent chance (unlike every other time) to show what I'm made of. I know I'm not bad at acting, so it should be a piece o' cake.
8:15 PM | Jacquie |
Saturday, September 11, 2004
I had the only nightmare that I can remember last night. There was a lot of meaningless events that happened before hand, but this is the meat and potatoes of the dream...
Somehow, Marina, someone I can't remember and I ended up at Anton and Stefan's house. We were sitting at a wooden kitchen table, and Anton pulled out a BB gun. We started to get freaked out, and he started firing it at us while we screamed. He kept aiming at my head and at Marina, and I thought he was going to kill me. While doing so, he was acting like a complete psycho, similar to Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining.
Stefan left the table and Anton followed him elsewhere, and soon they were on the floor right next to my seat. Anton had the BB gun point blank at Stefan's head and he fired. I saw the BB lodged in his head and blood pouring out and started sobbing. Anton said in a crazed and seemingly sad voice, "Oh no, I killed my baby brother!" To this, Stefan responded with eyes wide open, "I'm still alive, I'm your brother ____" (I don't think he said his name) in a zombie-like voice . I started to run away, and tried to go through the back door.
Anton appeared in the door way and was either quoting Shakespeare or manically speaking in the Elizabethan tongue, and he held an aluminum can with the remants of some kind of fluid or substance in it. I screamed and ran away, and he splashed whatever it was that was in the can at the back of my head. I feared it was acid, and soon the back of my head was tingling while I was running to get out. I think Anton would be a wonderful psycho killer in a film, if judging by that dream.
I woke up with a horrible headache, my head tingling, and my heart racing. It was by far the scariest dream I've ever had, and it didn't help when I realized that today was 9/11.
I watched a documentary on 9/11 the other night, and I realized that I don't think I realized just how tragic the event was three years ago. Maybe I'll never fully realize, but I think I'm closer to reality now and more mature. When it happened, I didn't want to think about it, I just wanted to acknowledge that it happened and try to move on. I absolutely sobbed when watching the documentary, and I think it was a combination of the replay of the images, and how much closer I feel with the outside world and with emotions in general. We can't live in the past, but we have to remember or else we won't grow. I know that I've grown since then.
1:05 PM | Jacquie |
Friday, September 10, 2004
Hmm...Let me ponder my circumstances for a second...
1. No one is home.
2. For two days.
My dad and brothers went upstate, and I didn't want to go. Unsuspected, my dad let me stay home because I apparently need some experience with living on my own. With a "Be good" and a "Don't fuck up," my dad and company left around 6:00 and won't be back until sometime on Sunday. This makes me very happy.
There are ghosts in the hallways, and their journey is not yet complete. I talk to them sometimes, but our time is limited. In our own separate planes, we function, yet there is a gap where the other belongs. We reminisce about a simpler time when we were both the same. Part of a whole, one driving force. When the future is uncertain, what do we do in the presence but wait? The time will come when we are to part, but until then, I'll cherish my time with the ghosts. My friends.
8:00 PM | Jacquie |
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Today was my first official day of school. Yesterday I helped out with the S'mores first day and did the club fair for Interact. Anyway, my first impressions of my classes were as follows:
CHOIR - Because of the whole South/East divide, there were not too many people in choir. There were about 8 altos, 13 sopranos, and...not that many guys. Although this, along with the s'mores being in concert choir, might put us in jeopardy for success at competition, I guess Teschner will find a way to work with what we have. I have a better chance of getting in ensembles because of this... well, probably not by much, but I need everything I can get at this point.
AP ENGLISH - I thought I would shit my pants, but I managed to leave with clean pants intact. Mr. Trachtenberg seems like a wonderful teacher, and the class is sure to be interesting and thought provoking, as it was today. He even likes Radiohead, which gives him extra points in my book. I thought I would do horribly on the first assignment because of the horror stories I heard, but managed to get an A- altogether, which is both relieving and reassuring.
FRENCH 5 - Do I need to say much? Fichtman Part 3 = all French, no English. Well, at least I know people in there, and she doesn't hate me too much.
PSYCHOLOGY - Decker seems to be nice, and the course outline she gave us was intriguing. Perhaps I can get a better idea of why my family is so fucked up with the help of this course...probably not.
So everything went well, besides getting a stain on my white pants (Damn you, tacos!) and I looked very...BRIGHT today. I just hope that my florescant yellow purse didn't blind anyone.
4:33 PM | Jacquie |
Sunday, September 05, 2004
The Comedic Genius of Jones
AJones71320: you know what you need to do?
AJones71320: get a stapler
AJones71320: and a stack of post-it notes
AJones71320: and maybe a couple magnets and about 6 inches of tape
AJones71320: and see what sort of monstrosity you can create with the 3
That made my "wah"-ness go away quickly. Thankee, Alex.
11:45 PM | Jacquie |
"It often makes no sense, in fact, I never understand these things I feel." - Yeah, pretty much. I think my heart likes pulling fast ones on me. I don't know what to do, and yes, I'm going to be ambigious. My heart combined with hormones, "that time of the month," and Ben Folds seems to be a HORRIBLE combination. Well, at least I got some good cries out of it.
11:20 PM | Jacquie |
Friday, September 03, 2004
Today was fun. It actually wasn't, but I'm hoping to force myself to alter my memory in order to make myself believe that I had a good time. I don't think that a long rant about my great-grandmother (a.k.a. botchulism) is necessary, but I'll just say one profound and agonizing statement...ok, I can do this...I had to hook my 86-year-old great-grandmother's bra today. I apologize if I have traumatized anyone and will be happy to join anyone in a group therapy session, because I'm going to need one.
6:00 PM | Jacquie |
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Apparently, Blogger and Google started a relationship, and they got pretty far, because they produced a baby at the top of my blog. Yes, that's right, you can search my archives for ANY WORD THAT YOU LIKE! I think I'm the only person that's excited about this. I typed in "poop" (because I'm really that immature) and beside the results, a sponsored ad said: "Poop on eBay - eBay Really Does Have It All Buy Poop on eBay today!" Wow. eBay...thank you. Thank you for making the world a better place. Even if this add was true...poop is free. Everyone shits. What has this world come to? Maybe they'll start charging like $2 for a bottle of water...oh wait, that's already happened. I think the apocalypse is nearing.
11:06 PM | Jacquie |
SCHEDULE TIME! Choir – 1st block, A days, all year
AP Music theory – 1st block, B days, all year
AP English – 2nd block, 1st-3rd marking periods
Economics – 2nd block, 4th marking period
French 5 – 3rd block, 1st and 2nd marking periods
Honors Calc 1 – 3rd block, 3rd and 4th marking periods
Psychology – 4th block, 1st marking period
PE/ Drug 11/12 – 4th block, 2nd marking period
Intl Relations – 4th block, 3rd marking periodPhotography 2 – 4th block, 4th marking period
4:13 PM | Jacquie |
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Yeah. I know. I haven't blogged for awhile. I also haven't seen anyone in awhile, talked to anyone in awhile, and I'm not complaining because this is my fault.
I procrastinated on my AP English thing (obviously), so the last week I've been doing that. My mom moved to Doylestown, and we have no internet connection there yet, so if anyone sent me an e-mail, I wouldn't have gotten it. So there. This weekend I'm finally free. No college visits, camps, play, nothing. I think I need to take a break from vacation and go to school, seriously.
My dog smells, but I'm too lazy to give her a bath. Maybe I'll Febreeze her. Hmm.
Anyway, I got some kickass school shopping done, and on my Gap excursion (I had a gift card there, so sue me) I won a free pair of pants. I'm such a hick that I would probably consider that moment as one of the best days of my life. It was pretty much like: "Look Momma! I won me some er dem pant thangs!" A pair of $58 jeans later, I was a happy camper.
As far as my family life is going...things aren't that great. My mom seems to be in a better mood because of the new house and this could possibly mean a fresh beginning in our relationship. We'll see what happens up in "D-Town." *shudders*
As far as my relationship with my dad goes...*sound of plane spiraling downward...and crashing* I'll just say it's not good. I could go on about it forever, but I won't. The bastard won't even pick up my schedule from his P.O. Box, because he thinks I should get one myself. There's a little glipse of his immaturity. I don't feel like I belong in my family. Home anymore seems to be everywhere BUT home. Spare me your pity, I just need to get it off my chest.
I'll contact people this weekend to do things with. I need to be around people.
7:59 PM | Jacquie |