Life of the Bored and Taskless.

Monday, September 30, 2002

Hey, it's me, in the library. That rhymed. Heather is here with me, and someone smells good, and moments ago, we made the conclusion that M.J. is the one. Heather says that he smells like her boyfriend, but her boyfriend may reek. JUST kidding. Ok, back to researching LSD! WOOHOO fun stuff.

10:31 AM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Saturday, September 28, 2002

Hey, it's me, on Saturday morning. Yawn. I missed Conan O'Brien last night, but I'm in good shape because they play them on Comedy Central. Ooo, 120 Minutes is on from 11-1 or 12-2 tonight, and I WILL NOT fall asleep. Ok, maybe that's a fib, but I'm going to try! I've temporarily run dry of things to talk aboot, so...here's the (belated) Friday Five:

1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind? Listen to music, go on the internet, read a book, sleep, eat and watch TV. I'm very good at relaxing.

2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands? Heh. I either turn on MTV2 and "rock out" to any good videos, (If you saw me doing this, you'd throw me in the looney bin for life.) or I force myself to practice piano. Most of the time it's painfully boring, but you do what you have to do.

3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells? I don't really have a favorite, but I like vanilla, and fruity smells. Sometimes the flower scents are too strong. Oh, I also like the "Sugar Cookie" car air freshener, it's awesome!

4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself? I guess by myself, because I'm a major spaz when I'm with my friends, and I'm always shouting something or laughing too loud. When I hang with J, I'm pretty relaxed.

5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't? Nothing really, but I don't think that those water messages in the mall are relaxing for me. I'm very ticklish, and I was laughing, not relaxing, when I did it.

11:43 AM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Thursday, September 26, 2002

I was reading my e-mail, and "UnknownSender" sent me an e-mail entitled "Enlarge your penis!"

Thanks...but no thanks.

8:43 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Best dream in the world:
(Wayne's World dream transition: Doo loo loo doo loo loo)

...I was at Tamanend, on the bus loading platform to be exact. I was just standing there, and there were other people around. I looked to my left, at some doors, and was in for the surprise of my lifetime! Guess who strolled through those doors as if they were mere commonfolk such as myself...WEEZER. Not only was it the Weez, but there was no Scott Shriner to be seen, and only the never-ending glory of Mr. Mikey Welsh. Rock. So, I said, "Oh...my...god...It's Weezer!" and cupped my mouth and stood there in amazement. They just nodded and walked on by. I followed them around a bit, for they didn't have much of a following, just me and this other girl. So I mustered up every ounch of courage I had and tapped Rivers on the back and said "Rivers...Rivers..." He slowly turned around and said "Yes?" in a polite manner. How would have though? So I made up a question in order to make myself less moronic than I appeared. I asked him, "So, you guys working on Album #5?" He smiled, and said, "Why, yes, it's similar to Album #3 because-"

THEN MY MOM WOKE ME UP. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! SHE RUINED MY MOMENT! Album #3 just happened to be the Green Album, and that could have gotten interesting but noOo...SOMEONE has to ruin it! Damn it, life's not fair. Even in dreamland.

You know what, I'll probably end up having another dream o' the Weez in the future (like the other 5 million I've had) whether I want to or not. But admit it, that was a freaking cool ass dream.

I have bio homework and procrastination to fufill, so chao until futher notice.

8:30 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Moment Of The Day:

Tim Doughterty falling asleep in APS...twice...sooo, Mrs. May decided he needed a little "wakie uppie." What was her method of choice? Watering can...on his neck! The dazed and confused look on his face was hilarious, and I only wish everyone was there to see it. Priceless moment, it was. Turns out he stayed up past his bedtime...which he claimed to be 8:30! I think he's just a narcoleptic.

Speaking of sleep, I'm out.

10:00 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Saturday, September 21, 2002

"Backwards Conversation," by Jacquie and Courtney

Zakolita: yentruoc!
Court10271230: !eiuqcaj
Zakolita: HAHAHA!!
Court10271230: !!!gnorw ti did uoy
Court10271230: !!ahahahahaha
Court10271230: ?uoy era woh
Zakolita: doog ytterp
Zakolita: uoy?
Court10271230: doog ma i, mmmhh
Zakolita: looc
Court10271230: worommot rof tiaw tnac i
Zakolita: oot em!
Zakolita: WHOOPS!
Zakolita: hHAHAHAHAHA
Zakolita: i mean, "!oot me"
Zakolita: AHH! i screwed up again
Court10271230: nuf hcum oos eb annog sti
Zakolita: !oot em
Court10271230: !ahahahaah
Court10271230: drah yllaer si siht
Zakolita: !wonk i
Court10271230: nuf fed sti tub
Court10271230: !ahahahahah
Zakolita: !haey hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhho
Court10271230: !!oh yeh dias u tghouht i
Zakolita: !AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

!DNE EHT

!sdrawkcab gniklat ta kcus I

10:56 AM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

I love Tom Green. I'm watching "Tom Green Uncensored" on MTV right now, and damn I miss the Tom Green Show! I never realized that he always was at risk of getting arrested, which would mean they would deport him back to Canada! But hey, who wouldn't love to go to Canada? Eh?

Nobody ever told me that Mr. Gromble, my favorite elementary school music teacher, had a son! He goes to my school! Nobody tells me ANYTHING. I said "Hey, nice shirt!" when he had on an Enlightenment Tour shirt, and he said, "Haha, thanks." and DUDE, he's Eric, Eric Gromble. Come to think of it...he's kinda cute in a nerdy way...haha.

Shit. I'm very confused about my emotions at the time. I have a song to explain it. (I suggest you download it, foo!)

"Falling," by Ben Kweller

Wind is cold alright back in Dallas. The neon light
from the buildings lets you know you're home.
You'd go way back when if you wanted to be my friend
or you'd call me. I'd understand, it's true.

I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling down.
Just say "hello" to the ground.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba

Wait there, I'll be right back. Down in Times Square
it's a heart attack. All the feeling makes you feel so new.
Trees fall and so do men. Even the walls start caving
in and you feel like there's no pretend for you.

But I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling down.
Just say "hello" to the ground.

We could talk if days weren't so fast,
and mistakes just leave it so unsure.
Wanna hold you like never before
'cause were falling and I love you more and more.

Do you feel like you're falling down?
Do you feel like you're falling down?
I don't feel like I'm falling-falling-falling down.

I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling down.
Just say "hello" to the ground.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba

I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling.
No, I don't feel like I'm falling down.

Do you feel like you're falling down?
Do you feel like you're falling down?
I don't feel like I'm falling-falling-falling
Just say "hello" to the ground.

Good song, good song.

6:43 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Thursday, September 12, 2002

Some humor to cheer myself up (phrases are made up by me):

Norwegian:
"Jeg har en pickle i mine bukser, og det får meg til meg!"

English:
"I have a pickle in my pants, and it's making me dance!"

Spanish:
"¡Las hadas del queso han invadido mi choza de vaca! ¡Ah no! ¡Ellos han hurtado mi única faja!"

English:
"The cheese fairies have invaded my cow shack! Oh no! They have stolen my only girdle!"

Go to Babblefish and knock yourselves out.

8:01 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Someone give me something stiff, yet fragile. I need to break it. NOW.

I got called back today. That's great. I've never been called back EVER before, and the chance I had now...they wouldn't let me do jackshit. 3 fucking lines. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? And, they are no doubtedly going to give the part to this other girl who in the opinion of me and many others, was not as good as I was. I sound bitter, don't I? I think I have the right to. Also, typecasting was very obvious, and I don't like the casting lady. (I thought she was fake) This acting clique of seniors are going to get all of the great parts. I can feel it. I know I'm in the play, but I just wanted ONE CHANCE TO SHOW EVERYONE THAT I CAN DO MORE THAN JUST A CHORUS ROLE. It's not fair, waaaaaa, I'm done.

If she gets the part, (cast list posted tomorrow), I'm going to hire a hitman...to kill me. No, I'm kidding. To kill HER of course. Mwahahaha, man I'm really evil. Too bad someone already has that part though. Damn.

7:09 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

I tried out for the play (for kids), Aladdin, this afternoon. Jess and I got seperated from our cozy little group of sophies to get thrown in with the big bad juniors and seniors. Gulp. First, we had to sing an excerpt from one of the (gay) songs from the play. Unfortunetly, WHO had to have the first last name alphabetically? Me. SO, I had to sing first. Now folks, despite how much fun it sounds to sing in front of older peers and might I add future French teacher, while standing in a spot below all of them while they all look down on you with piercing...criticizing...um, OLDER eyes...it really isn't. I was so nervous I was shaking while singing and hey, maybe that added some verbratto to my voice. Or maybe it made me look like a wussy fifth grader. I sang all of the notes and timing correctly (and I have piano background, so if I didn't, I should have been shot), but I was on the quiet side, because 1) I don't have a broadway voice like some Jess people do Lauren. 2) I don't have any self confidence in a situation like that and 3) I was nervous and held my paper close to me. I did ok, but then Mrs. Fichtman asked me, "Do you have any more to give?" and I said (like a moron) "What?" "Any more to give...vocally." "Oh, yeah, I was just nervous! *nervous forced laugh*" Then I went to go sit down and continued to mentally slap myself silly for the way I acted. Nerves suck ass.

Then, we had to do dancing. I, unfortunetly, went through ballet boot camp for 7 or 8 years, so I can dance ok. OK, not great, and I'm as flexible as a tree trunk. The dance we had to learn was a no brainer for anyone. Even YOU could do it. (Not saying you're rhythmless) Somehow, I managed to screw that one up. The dance was so easy, that it really didn't test your dancing skills, so if you messed up, you just have a memory problem. I think that wasn't fair, but maybe I'm just saying that because I messed up and I need an excuse to cover it up. There wasn't even much to be creative or perky about because it was a dumb dance which was so simple and walk-like that it wasn't really much of a dance. Oh well.

Tomorrow, they say, is more dancing and singing (oh goody goody fricking gumdrops) and line reading! I hope to get a speaking role, and if not, I want to be Aladdin's monkey, Alakazam. (Yes, they changed it from Abu to this for the play). Face it people, monkeys rule! You are going down, McKairnes!

7:58 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Saturday, September 07, 2002

Quite Qrazy Qonvos (see below...)

Steph: so Jacquie, what do you want to talk about?
Me: um, bananas!
Steph: chicquita banana
Me: banana boat
Steph: ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone, banana phone
Me: bananas in pajamas, are coming down the stairs, bananas in pajamas, are chasing teddy bears

...LaTeR...

Steph: what should we talk about?
Me: what's your favorite letter, and why?
Steph: hmm.....
Steph: i'm gonna have to say c cause it's shaped like a banana
Me: I like Q. I think it looks neat and sounds kinda funkay. AND it's in my name, yay! it's such an honor. i think it's underapprieciated though, no one uses it!
Steph: you don't like c? it's shaped like a banana though!!! qqqqqqqq
Me: BUT Q's have that's qool little thingy on an O! DO YOU NOT LIKE Q?
Me: i like c, but c is for common and q is for queer, i mean, uh, quite neato!
Steph: i just used q 8 times!
Steph: c is for crazy
Me: q is for queen!
Steph: c is for columbus
Me: q is for...
Steph: hahaha, i win
Me: NO YOU DON'T
Me: q is for quiet, and quincy like john quincy adams
Steph: c is for climb, like monkeys climb into trees and look for bananas!!!
Me: yeah well q is for quest, and that's what i go on to look for bananas!
Me: so there!
Steph: c is for cup, which is what i put my banana in when i get it
Me: q is for quilt, which is what my banana sleeps in at night
Steph: c is for cringe which is what my banana says when it sees your banana
Me: OH! well, q is for quarter which is what mine is worth. YOURS on the other hand is worth NOTHING
Steph: c is for carl, which is my banana's boyfriend
Me: q is for quarrel which is what my banana will do with your banana!
Steph: c is for crush which is what my banana will do to your banana!
Me: q is for queasy which is what my banana is when it sees YOUR banana!!
Steph: c is for cry, which is what your banana will do when my banana kicks his yellow behind
Me: oh yeah? q is for quit, which is what your wussy banana will do when both bananas fight each other in a qage of death? like that spelling?
Steph: well c is for captain planet.
Steph: and captain planet is my banana's friend
Me: well q is for the queen of england, which is my banana's wife
Me: my banana is the co-ruler of a nation!
Steph: but my banana can fly through the air and save people
Steph: from pollution that is
Me: but mine can crush a country then have a cup of tea!
Steph: and then mine will clean up the mess you made cause it will cause pollution!!! and then have a doughnut
Me: well mine will deport your banana, make the world his empire then have a quarter pounder with cheese meal with a raspberry iced tea!
Steph: MY banana will throw trash on yours and then go eat a healthy Cucumber
Me: well MY banana will tap dance on the peel of your banana after it gets done with kicking its arse and then go play a game of Quidditch
Steph: my banana, which is named carla by the way, will take a bite out of your banana and then Cough it up cause it was so gross
Me: my banana's name is Quinn, and it will Quickly run away at the sight of you so called "banana" (qough qough poop qough)
Steph: my banana is Cooler than Cuinn because she Can Climb trees as well as Cut up a Cucumber and Create Crazy Colors with paint
Steph: omg, did you realize we've been doing this for 20 minutes?
Me: My banana is so Qool that it can Qhange all of the C words into Q words because they are the same sound, but Q's look soooo much Qooler. By the way, Quinn can Qut your banana in half like a set of nunQhucks or a Quarate Qhop!
Me: HAHAHA! yes! it's so fun!
Me: if this isn't going into my blog, i don't know what is
Steph: hahahaha
Steph: Carla Can Chop Cuinn into tiny pieces of....Corn
Steph: i must go, my father needs the computer, geeze, don't forget to post this convo!!!!
Me: Quinn Qan Qremate the ashes of Qarla's Qarcas
Me: I won't!!!
Me: haha, this was so fun!
Steph: bye bye
Me: cya!
Me: i mean Qya!
Me: haha
Steph: hahaha

Wow. That should go into the IM Convo Hall Of Fame. But honestly folks, Q is the better letter! Who ever agrees with me or begs to differ should drop a comment down there. Steph, you're going down! Oh yes, I should say that Jacquie's amusement has been sponsored by Beetgreets. If anyone wants to they can, you know, just send me one...(wink wink)

8:50 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a Polka-dotted Hobo Cart.
You will marry Justin and have Half human/ half Al Gore kids.
You will be a your worse nightmare in Oscar the Grouch's trash can.

They keep getting better...

6:37 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Friday, September 06, 2002

1. What is your biggest pet peeve? Why? My biggest pet peeve has to be food touching. At dinnertime, if any of one kind of food touches another kind of food, I flip out. Can we say OCD...?

2. What irritating habits do you have? Picking my nails, forgetting things (I mean A LOT. You'd think I have a real problem...maybe I do.)

3. Have you tried to change the irritating habits or just let them be? Change and I usually don't mingle. I still do these things a lot.

4. What grosses you out more than anything else? Why? Well after science class today, the ebola virus. Other things include condiments such as mustard, relish, and mayonaise. That "special sauce" on Big Macs (I think it's bird shit), sour cream and cream cheese, spiders, any insects, my dad, vomit, body piercings, tatoos, Miss B's fungus filled toenails, and many others. Why? Because they're all gross for good reasons.

5. What one thing can you never see yourself doing that other people do? Bungee jumping. AHH! Like my dad says, "I won't trust my life to a bungee cord."

9:05 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Thursday, September 05, 2002

I am in the process of writing a short narrative about my first day of school, but it's not finished yet. I have lots of homework, but if I took AP Social Studies like everyone else, I'd be up until 2 doing it.

LAST NIGHT WAS AWESOME! As everyone knows, (whether you want to or not) the finale for American Idol was on last night. Since Justin Guarini was one of the two finalists, and he is from our high school (a few years ago), FOX held a viewing party in our auditorium! Coca Cola sponsored it, and there was free food and drinks! Everyone was so excited, and there were many "WOO!"'s to be heard last night. FOX's cameras went around and filmed people and after it was done (and he lost), FOX stuck around for the 10 O'Clock News and filmed little things with us and guess who snuck their way up to the front...? I DID! My uncle said he saw me on TV 4 times! It was literally a mosh pit around the front of the stage where the reporter, Dawn, was filming. I was on Bridget's back for one broadcast and I think I gave her scoliosis...

Here are the highlights of the night:
1) Free food and soda! WOO!
2) Being on TV! My teachers all commented on that! :)
3) I was picking a wedgie right in Dana's face. Then, I gave myself a wedgie and turned around and someone's mom was giving me a weird look...whoopsie...
4) A row of guys in the back kept yelling "KELLY'S A SLUT!", even when they were interviewing my chorus teacher, Mr. Teschner.
5) The excessive "WOO!"-ing. I was exhausted by the end of the night!
6) Me and Dana's rendition of "You Sexy Thing"

It was so awesome, I wish everyone could have come! Even if you didn't like American Idol, it still would have been fun!

5:14 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

The First Day Of High School, by me.

*Ahem*...I woke up at 5.45. 'Tis quite difficult for someone who normally fell asleep at 2:30 and woke up at 11. The first thing I did was hit the snooze button. When it's cold in the house and you have to go to school, who wouldn't want to go back to sleep for another 9 minutes? Finally, I dragged my lazy bum out of my warm and comfortable sheets to face the cold reality of high school. I ate my breakfast while shivering from the 60 degree weather. I felt like a Bahamian who just got thrown into Alaska. I got ready and my dad informed me that he broke my only source of pleasure for the day: my Sesame Street lunch box. I just got it yesterday and HE of all people goes and breaks it! Parents...

The bus picked me up at 6:35. I certainly enjoyed that more than you will ever know. I boared this bus equipped with my "scoliosis bag", my oh-so-bland green lunch box and my CD player. How long, you may wonder, was this bus voyage? Half an hour, my friends. In the morning. With a million people. Who needs Folgers when you have THIS to wake you up? Dana and Bridget sampled my back-to-school CD (Modest Mouse's The Moon And Antarctica)

7:01 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments

Monday, September 02, 2002

Guess what, tomorrow is my first day of school! But, probably most of anyone who reads this goes to my school so they would know that anyway. I was already...or so I thought! I bought two things today so my first day will be complete!:

1) A Back To School CD (duh!)- Modest Mouse, The Moon And Antarctica
2) A lunchybox! To be more specific, I got a Sesame Street plastic lunchbox that came with a pringle holder, coupons galore, a thermos and handwipies. Yay!

About the lunchbox, my dad asked, "Aren't people going to tease you about that? A 10th grader with a Sesame Street lunchbox? They'll call you a baby!" I think my dad said that because he used to think he was hot shit back in high school and would probably tell me that if he were my age again. You know what? I like my lunchbox! I don't care what anyone says! I thought it would be funny if I went into high school with a lunchbox like that because it would be oxymoronic. I needed the CD because, hello, I always need a new CD. This just seemed like a good excuse to get one. Plus, A-K said it was good, and I downloaded some of the songs, and they're really good. I think the singer has a lisp...hehe.

Believe you me, I'm going to come back tomorrow and post this epic event...FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL!

Oh man, my dad was watching "Ed, Edd, & Eddy" and laughed. My respect for them has gone from "super-low" to "I was adopted...right?"

8:11 PM | Jacquie | 0 comments