Thursday, June 30, 2005
The past two weeks have been highly eventful.
Let's see...the last time I posted was June 13th. Today is...June 30th. Oh boy. I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Wait, who am I kidding?
Alright, well, on June 14th I turned 18. Weird. Went to Ooka, good stuff.
Fast forward to the 17th: graduation. Contrary to expectations from myself and others, I did not cry. Also weird, because usually I'm the huge sap sobbing in a corner at some "last" event. Any possibility of there being a last usually even triggers the release of a couple tears. But alas, this day was fairly dry (in this sense and weather, I got a nice sunburn from sitting outside). I almost cried during "Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing" but I stopped myself. Go me. I'll miss East, specifically one senior, but I don't have to get into that one...now, anyway.
On the 18th, I (along with half of the world) had my graduation party. Good stuff. Lots o' people = lots o' moolah.
I forget what happened on the 19th. Oh well.
On Monday, the 20th, I left to go to Senior Week in LBI. Since I wrote everything from the trip in a journal, I'm sparing anyone who reads this by not writing about it again. I went with Brittany, Marina, Becci, Bridget, Danielle, and Lauren (it was her house) and later, Dave, Jesse, Brian and Adam showed up. I got some sun, some interesting pictures, and it was a nice time to slow down and chill out. However, I did miss my friends back home, and was glad to go home on Saturday although there was a little part of me that wanted to lie on the beach for all of eternity.
Unfortunetly, neither part of myself was satisfied. My mom picked me up on Saturday and instead of going home, we went to Wildwood to stay in her boyfriend's parents' condo for a night. Woohoo. My grandmom and mother screamed at each other, and we had a jolly good time.
I got back the next day and went to Marina's graduation party. Some interesting games of "Duck Duck Goose" were played. I got to see everyone again, and I did some mental rejoicing.
Monday...oh yeah. Monday was my day of nothingness. Time to, you know, gather thoughts and clean the house and do laundry and...yeah.
Tuesday. Good day. Went to Ooka for lunch and bid adeus to Janna and Darko, who have to go back to their native countries. Went to my first (insert whistle noise here) appointment to find out that they didn't take my insurance. I was kind of relieved not to have been violated. Dan and I chatted for a bit when I came home, and I (and probably Dan as well) felt so much better afterwards. Then, I went to see "Layer Cake" at the County Theater with Asian Tom and Zach. Good flick. We galavanted a bit, sang some classics together in the car, and eventually ate ice cream at Chez Jacquie. 'Twas a good day.
Yesterday was slendid as well. Drew came over my house and we watched most of "The 'Burbs." After dropping my mom off to get her car from the dealership, Drew and I went to Chuck E. Cheese's. Totally impromptu and definitely worth it. Because we knew Steve Suffian, we got in with no problem. We even got tokens out of the deal! Drew and I got our picture taken in a booth and then it was "drawn" by the machine. It was so cool that we decided to do it an additional...1, 2...10 times. After that we went to Poco's for dinner with Drew's friend Matt and his girlfriend, Mindy. We attempted to see Blackthorn but a) we got lost (my fault) b) it was moved and c) it was already full by the time we got there. Matt and Mindy went home and I went over Drew's house and hung around for awhile. It was awesome.
So, that brings me (or us, if anyone's reading this) to today. Steph and I went to the King of Prussia mall to meet up with Jen, who moved to Norristown last year. We somehow managed to find the mall just fine, however, Jen called us and said she needed a ride. I remembered my mom saying, "I don't want you in Norristown; it's the ghet-to." So we went to Norristown, BUT, we got lost on the way there. We did manage to get on some road that Jen didn't even know about and we got a nice look of the Rosemont College campus. We turned around and managed to find Norristown and Jen's house. We went to the mall for a bit, and I got in touch with my feminine side (but not so much that I bought a skirt...I opted to purchase "The Hour of the Bewilderbeast" by Badly Drawn Boy. I'm listening to it now, and it's excellent). We went back to Jen's for a bit, and left in the afternoon...and yeah, we got lost again. But getting lost with a friend is more fun than frightening, even if you're in the "ghet-to." On the way home, the song "Too Close" came on the radio (old 5th grade-era pop favorite), and I started dancing. I looked over at the car next to me, and two little girls were dancing too and watching Steph and I. It was hilarious. We all kept dancing, and when they drove away, we all waved. I still can't get over how funny that was. I love when things like that happen. I went to my aunt's after that adventure and it wasn't enjoyable.
So, I'm hanging around now. Goddamn, this album is good. I think I'll choose an appropriate quote to end this all with...hmm...ah yes...
"And so it goes
the moral to this tale
As tortoise catches snail
A strong heart will prevail
It keeps on pumping
It still needs something
Just give it something
I'll take nothing
Just give it something
To keep it pumping
And I'll take nothing
Just give me something."
- "Pissing in the Wind" - Badly Drawn Boy
6:21 PM | Jacquie |
Monday, June 13, 2005
Last night was Baccalaureate, and yeah, I shed a tear or two. Nothing close to the upcoming waterworks at Graduation on Friday.
Today was the last full day of school. *Sigh* No more B lunch (or Blunch, as I call it) However, I may come in on Friday for the hell of it. I honestly have nothing better to do. Someone said that the administration doesn't want seniors there. That sounded odd, but it gives me more of a reason to go if that is somehow true.
Tomorrow I am 18. Guess what I got in the mail for my birthday? Emancipation letters. Not from my parents (sometimes I wish), but from the stupid divorce arrangements. Huzzah!
Grammi, my maternal grandmother, is visiting from Florida. Her facelift turned out nicely, and apparently, she's in good shape too...I turned around and saw my grandmom changing in our dining room. "You'll look like this when you get older!" Yes, I know, but let me enjoy my prepubescant male body while I can.
10:51 PM | Jacquie |
Thursday, June 09, 2005
5:44 PM | Jacquie |
Although I'm not easily phased anymore by the things that my classmates say...
("Oh, Rwanda is a PLACE...I thought it was just the name of the hotel!"
- some girl in International Relations)
...I was the other day.
So I'm sitting in Economics, easily the most useless of the required classes, and one of the more talkative guys in my class starts to speak. Nothing new. But as I looked across the classroom, past the drool-finished desks and flatlined faces, I noticed that this "jock" wasn't as mindless as one would assume.
He said something along the lines of, "Do you ever think, when you see someone, 'Wow, I'm never going to see you again.' I mean, when you're at the store and someone waves, or when the guy at the movie takes your ticket, wouldn't it be more appropriate to say 'Have a nice life'? I just think that it's so weird..."
Miss Einhorn nodded.
"Wow Kurt, that's deep man" responded a guy as he picked his nose.
Ok, so he didn't pick his nose, but I wouldn't be surprised. What Kurt said wasn't earth shattering in any way, but I respected his efforts for two reasons. One, I don't have high expectations for the guys in my Economics class for many reasons, but this made me think twice about lumping them all into one chaotic group, and two, he threw something out there that put him at risk for being teased for by the alpha males peppered throughout the room. I say give Kurt some kudos. Plus, he always turns on 97.5 The Hawk during the 9 o'clock classic rock block, so I give him points for that too.
I guess it's not too late to see something new in high school.
Tomorrow is locker cleanout...Yikes.
I feel like I'm going full speed ahead...
where's the break on this thing?
5:13 PM | Jacquie |
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
I've learned a lot during my high school years, but I can honestly say that the Central Bucks East High School administration has taught me a very valuable lesson this week.
Everything can be solved with water ice.
...Maybe we can squeeze a couple more bomb threat spirit days before next week. Oh, the sweet taste of possibility...mine's cherry!
Bad headaches today. Bad "thin-slicing" too, most likely. Unfortunetly, none of this is water-ice related. I wish things were as simple as our administration makes it out to be.
I'm going to be 18 next week...I'm also graduating next week...
6:29 PM | Jacquie |
Saturday, June 04, 2005
It's a little past 2:00 AM. I'm tired, but I'm happy.
I like being tired and happy.
And when I'm tired and happy, I laugh a lot.
Guess what I am currently laughing at...AN INTERACTIVE MAP OF PENNSYLVANIA!
TRUST ME, it's hilarious!
I mean, there's a town...called Delaware Water Gap! Pennsylvania, you're so crazy!
Who knew learning could be so much fun?
*falls and drools on laptop*
2:02 AM | Jacquie |
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Today was a day of discovery and reflection for me. I remembered the web address of someone's long-forgotten blog and read all of his posts. It was like reading our relationship. A lot has happened in one year, and I wish I got a chance to talk to him more often. Oh well. There's still 9 days left to fix anything I want to, right?
I also found the yearbook entry Dan wrote me. Dan and I decided to write each other's yearbook entries on separate sheets of paper because there's WAY too much to write about. I sat on my aunt's roof and read it about 4 times and cried. There's a lot going on right now, and whatever I do, I'm not going to let our friendship die. That's my priority at the moment. I miss talking to Dan and having really long conversations and watching movies and making fun of each other and making fun of Frank and using ghetto slang and being K Mac and Foxy Miranda and using my "sex voice" and just being with each other. Unfortunetly, there's internal and external forces that are not on our side, but as far as this goes, I have the most willpower and drive that I can possibly muster. The fucking apocalypse couldn't stop me right now. I love Dan more than anyone else in the world and I'll stop at nothing to protect him from everything, including himself. My heart and his yearbook entry are in agreement. Yeah, things have changed and this isn't a phase, but there's something called "unconditional love" that is highly applicable in this case. I shouldn't have to convince anyone because deep down I have no doubt that he knows this as well as I do, but he asked me to look within myself, so I did. This is how I really feel. The "Love Always" above his name isn't just a formality. Plus, the man has one of my bras. That's love.
On a side note, my uncle's not doing well. You can pray for him if that's something you'd care to do. I'd like to thank everyone for helping me through this even if you're not aware that you are. I really appreciate everything, even simply inquiring has shown that you care. Like I said in the preceding post, all I have is hope right now.
7:30 PM | Jacquie |
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
This weekend was awesome for many reasons, such as:
1. I got to hang out with a lot of people.
2. The weather, for the most part, was beautiful.
3. No one was home.
4. No one was home.
I emphasize the last because at the moment, I want everyone in this house to just dissapear. This may be a selfish desire, but I find that I function so much better when no one's around. I remember the early morning breakfast at the diner before dress rehearsal. No cars on 263, just my friends and the ground. Too bad hibernation isn't a natural thing for humans. And too bad I can't force it on people.
Man, I am in a terrific mood.
I have fallen into an interesting state just now. I'm tired, irritable, and rather bitchy. I guess it's because I just want to help my friend who needs me, although he can't let me at the moment, which isn't his fault. The feeling of helplessness can be almost crippling. Before recently, I felt confident in the fact that I could help him and I was fairly good at it. Now, because of the helplessness, I'm not so sure. There must be something else I can do, but I don't exactly know what that something is at the moment. I guess it doesn't help that I'm not much of a realist, but I've found that this "flaw" has helped me thus far.
I had a dream last night that I murdered two middle-aged men. I can't identify them, and I only remember how I killed one of them. When I woke up, my heart was racing and I didn't want to go back to sleep. However, I am beyond tired right now and I don't think I'll get to my homework, which is fine, because I was going to put it off anyway. Maybe I'll go kill some more, or maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll have a positive dream tonight.
It seems that I know just as much in my dream world as I do in the real world. If so, the only thing I can do is have hope. I guess that's the something I need to hold onto.
7:39 PM | Jacquie |