Saturday, September 11, 2004
I had the only nightmare that I can remember last night. There was a lot of meaningless events that happened before hand, but this is the meat and potatoes of the dream...
Somehow, Marina, someone I can't remember and I ended up at Anton and Stefan's house. We were sitting at a wooden kitchen table, and Anton pulled out a BB gun. We started to get freaked out, and he started firing it at us while we screamed. He kept aiming at my head and at Marina, and I thought he was going to kill me. While doing so, he was acting like a complete psycho, similar to Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining.
Stefan left the table and Anton followed him elsewhere, and soon they were on the floor right next to my seat. Anton had the BB gun point blank at Stefan's head and he fired. I saw the BB lodged in his head and blood pouring out and started sobbing. Anton said in a crazed and seemingly sad voice, "Oh no, I killed my baby brother!" To this, Stefan responded with eyes wide open, "I'm still alive, I'm your brother ____" (I don't think he said his name) in a zombie-like voice . I started to run away, and tried to go through the back door.
Anton appeared in the door way and was either quoting Shakespeare or manically speaking in the Elizabethan tongue, and he held an aluminum can with the remants of some kind of fluid or substance in it. I screamed and ran away, and he splashed whatever it was that was in the can at the back of my head. I feared it was acid, and soon the back of my head was tingling while I was running to get out. I think Anton would be a wonderful psycho killer in a film, if judging by that dream.
I woke up with a horrible headache, my head tingling, and my heart racing. It was by far the scariest dream I've ever had, and it didn't help when I realized that today was 9/11.
I watched a documentary on 9/11 the other night, and I realized that I don't think I realized just how tragic the event was three years ago. Maybe I'll never fully realize, but I think I'm closer to reality now and more mature. When it happened, I didn't want to think about it, I just wanted to acknowledge that it happened and try to move on. I absolutely sobbed when watching the documentary, and I think it was a combination of the replay of the images, and how much closer I feel with the outside world and with emotions in general. We can't live in the past, but we have to remember or else we won't grow. I know that I've grown since then.
1:05 PM | Jacquie |
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