This weekend was awesome for many reasons, such as: 1. I got to hang out with a lot of people. 2. The weather, for the most part, was beautiful. 3. No one was home. 4. No one was home.
I emphasize the last because at the moment, I want everyone in this house to just dissapear. This may be a selfish desire, but I find that I function so much better when no one's around. I remember the early morning breakfast at the diner before dress rehearsal. No cars on 263, just my friends and the ground. Too bad hibernation isn't a natural thing for humans. And too bad I can't force it on people.
Man, I am in a terrific mood.
I have fallen into an interesting state just now. I'm tired, irritable, and rather bitchy. I guess it's because I just want to help my friend who needs me, although he can't let me at the moment, which isn't his fault. The feeling of helplessness can be almost crippling. Before recently, I felt confident in the fact that I could help him and I was fairly good at it. Now, because of the helplessness, I'm not so sure. There must be something else I can do, but I don't exactly know what that something is at the moment. I guess it doesn't help that I'm not much of a realist, but I've found that this "flaw" has helped me thus far.
I had a dream last night that I murdered two middle-aged men. I can't identify them, and I only remember how I killed one of them. When I woke up, my heart was racing and I didn't want to go back to sleep. However, I am beyond tired right now and I don't think I'll get to my homework, which is fine, because I was going to put it off anyway. Maybe I'll go kill some more, or maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll have a positive dream tonight.
It seems that I know just as much in my dream world as I do in the real world. If so, the only thing I can do is have hope. I guess that's the something I need to hold onto.