I miss my childhood with him. I miss learning to read and saying "pause" whenever I got to a period, because he told me to pause. I miss the wedgies that he gave me before ballet so my leotard would fit correctly. I miss how he tried to do my hair and failed miserably, so much that the doctor fixed it one time. I miss him telling me that he has no hair because I pulled all of it out. I miss the bets I used to make with him, and how he jokingly asked for money if he won. I miss winning against him at Checkers because he let me. I miss repeating state capitals to him after having learning them. I miss lobster ice cream, and lobsters, and ice cream for lunch. I miss the epic summer vacations. I miss my aunt calling him "rude, crude, and obnoxious" and me laughing from the backseat on vacation. I miss being Jackson. I miss being "babe." I miss hearing "Time to wake up, Miss Baker" in the morning and cringing at the click of the lamp. I miss him being the one getting me out of bed. I miss me being the inactive one. I miss him asking me what I was doing at school with genuine curiosity. I miss his overprotection. I miss our pointless heated arguments. I miss him calling me selfish and me feeling guilty about it. I miss him saying nasty things about Botulism and about how stupid my parents act and agreeing with him. I miss his Republican remarks targeted at people on television, even though they didn't hear him and I disagreed with him. I miss going to a Catholic church with him and being bored by the robotic priest. I miss not having to pretend I'm Catholic when the priest comes to his house to bless him because he can't go to church anymore. I miss not having to look at the ground while walking to make sure I don't step on the oxygen tubes. I miss a machine-less house. I miss watching Jeopardy with him, and him telling me how smart I am. I miss him saying how beautiful I am. I miss not crying because of him. I miss people not asking about how he’s doing with the tone and face of sympathy. I miss thinking that nobody I know will ever die. I miss not having to worry about if I have a black outfit. I miss not having to worry about the future without him. I miss not having to worry about him. I miss having a real father. I miss him.