That's a reassuring thing to hear from you 10-year-old brother when you first wake up. Maybe it's the degree of paleness I have achieved by becoming a hermit, or maybe it's the dark eye makeup from the play that I didn't wash off last night. I guess it's a combination of the two.
Speaking of the play, opening night went off without a hitch, at least from what I experienced. Our energy level was insane, and it's mainly due to two things: 1) The audience at teasers (snippets from the play during the school day intending to persuade people to pay money to see us) was DEAD. I wouldn't even be exaggerating much to say that I saw strings of saliva hanging off of peoples' gaping mouthes. So at that point, we knew we had to step it up if we wanted our audience members to AT LEAST have pulses. 2) Zach Stone, the official "hype man" of Patriot Players. He's similar to those random dudes who gravitate around rappers and say things like, "Yeeh! C'mon!" Now that I think about, Zach even says things like that. This is, hands down, THE best quote of last night (preceding "The Lusty Month of May"): "I want it to be so lusty, that the audience will be borderline masturbating!"
*Sigh* Oh Patriot Players, how I love thee.
There was, however, a sad note in the triumphant night. All I had to hear was someone say "Mitch Hedberg, Comedy Central Presents!" and I was glued to the tube in some random dressing room. After anticipating and laughing at all of the jokes, it was over. Then, on the screen, I saw:
"Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005 We Miss You Too"
...and my jaw dropped. After spazzing out for a minute, I thought "JEFF!" (because he's the one who introduced me to Mitch) and ran to go find him backstage. After searching for awhile, I found him and told him. Even on his shadowed face I could make out his complete shock. After letting it sink in, he said, "I hope he ODed," which would be an entirely inappropriate thing to say if it wasn't concerning Mitch Hedberg. Apparently, Mitch naturally has a bad heart, and when mixed with drug use, it obviously can lead to disaster.
I still can't grasp it. I'm not going to discuss how funny he was because of two reasons: 1) Anyone who finds Mitch funny knows the genius behind it. 2) He still IS funny, and will be for a very long time.
I'm crying right now, partially due to the death of Mitch Hedberg. I always respond to deaths of people I admire and respect in this way, even if I never knew them. But gazing out a rainy window and listening to a melancholy piano solo adds another dimension to my sadness.
Considering I STILL haven't washed my makeup off, I must look even more frightening. I'll wash it off in awhile, but for now, I'm going to let the mascara have a good run because it's exactly what I need it to do. Tonight, I'll reapply my happy face for the play, and let the moment drip from my pores.
Yet, there's something else I'm upset over.
I tell people that I don't really want to leave high school, and when they ask why, I usually give all sorts of bullshit reasons. Yet, Patriot Players is the truest one. After this weekend, Camelot won't exist anymore, but the memory will stay with me forever. The more I think about it, the more I realize that my definition of my high school experience can be accurately described in a sequence of plays. The time between those plays was but preparation for the one to come. Friendships and relationships that I have made center mostly on Patriot Players, and I take pride in the fact that I belong to the group, even if that sounds lame. I don't care.
One of the best feelings is belonging to something that you helped to create. It's belonging without "belonging," creating your own world when you find the real one, or the bullshit high school one, unsatisfying. When I look around at the other people on stage, I realize that they're here because they WANT to be here. We all have this in common. Sometimes, a family is there only because they feel obligated. Sometimes, they're not even there at all. So I think I'm justified in saying that the people in Patriot Players, who I've "grown up" with, are a real family to me. I've gotten to know them, befriend them, learn with them, live with them. But most importantly...I love them, and I don't want our Camelot to end.
"Don't let it be forgot that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot."