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Friday, July 16, 2004
Due to my odd habit of thinking A LOT before I go to sleep, I had time last night (at about 2 AM) to make some symbolic connections, which is a common thing because I attach symbolism to a lot of things...even at times when it is not needed. In this case, I didn't think it was overly tacky or a sad attempt of sounding wise or philosophical, so I'll share it with all 3 of you that read this. Maybe 2. Or just me.
In the past month, I've been driving almost daily, and it has occurred to me that driving and life in general have a lot of similarities. I'm beginning to enter the world of adulthood, and I have gained more responsibility and a little more control of my life. Like the maturing process, driving at first was horrifying. Being in control is something that I was not used to because certain people controlled almost every aspect of my life, excluding my social life.
When I first starting driving a couple months ago, all I looked at was the yellow line in the center of the road. I based many of my decisions on this line, which resulted in disaster at times. Like the road, I needed boundaries in order to feel safe in my life, as I was not used to thinking without them. Life is not supposed to be objective, but I felt very unsafe making my own decisions without any guiding force. So, I frequently questioned my parents before even thinking about things myself, which occured many times while driving.
Gradually, I am learning to stop looking at one minor detail, and focus on a larger scale. This has been challenging, but through the guidance of warning and stop signs (friends) and rear and side-view mirrors (teachers), I have learned to wake my head from its safe resting place in the clouds and stay alert to the road as well as my life, in which I am now a driving force, and the decisions I will have to make very soon. College has been an ongoing process, and I've started to narrow down where I will apply to and...well, the financial aspect of it is another story. Yet, for the first time in awhile...I'm not frightened by the future. I'm trying to take control of my life, and so far I've steered myself in the right direction. As long as I look out for my future by making decisions based on what I think is right, I think I'll be fine in the end.
8:36 PM | Jacquie |
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Me in a tree. Circa 1990.
Blog Buddies.
Fight the Boredom!
Ancient Ramblings.
End Credits.
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