Wednesday, November 12, 2003
The Washington D.C. trip yesterday was awesome. I'm not going to do my usual "list everything because I need to remember everything I've ever done because I have Alzheimer's" thing, because I need to do homework, and I'm lazy.
But I have to say ONE thing. Veteran's Day in D.C. is truly compelling. You can't imagine what these people and their families have gone through, but you get a better understanding of it, and respect them immensely for it. I can't even begin to imagine.
I hate losing friends, and I've begun to be a bit paranoid about it because of lately, in general, and the whole "big split" coming up next year. I don't even know where I'm going yet, but it's certainly NOT going to be West...I hope.
Once again, I had weird dreams last night. The first was that I was watching a movie, and somehow it ended up being porn. Not just ANY porn...it was my mom and Mr. Galazin, my Modern World History teacher, having sex. I was so revolted, it wasn't even funny. Then I found the box to the movie...and it was called, "Diet Orgy." Why can't I for ONCE have a normal dream?!
The other was short, well, all I remember was Jeff coming up to me saying "Kiss me" and we did, but I didn't want to. I don't like Jeff, but lately I feel like I'm losing him as a friend, and I look back on our friendship, and it's NOT something I want to lose. Maybe that's why I had that dream, I don't know, but losing friends seems inevitable anymore.
Everything kind of seems boring and repetitive anymore in school. Same old same old. I have wonderful friends, but I'm not complete, if you know what I mean. I'm not LOOKING for a relationship, but I need something else. I don't believe in God, so it's not like I have faith to lift my spirits or anything. About the whole "God" thing, I'm undecided. I just don't want to commit to something I don't really believe right now. Religion and spiritualty was never really a huge part of my life anyway, but I'm not denouncing the church or anything, my great-grandfather was a reverend, it's just not my thing. If it's yours, that's cool, differences are what make the world an interesting place, after all.
I'm just blah. Somebody help me get out of my blah state. Anybody, I'd really appreciate it, Maybe even you could, yes you. ;)
8:18 PM | Jacquie |
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