Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show is "dark" the week of Sept. 19.)
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Heeeellz yeah. Pirates kick it to the max! I'm such a dork, which is why no one reads this, except my subconsious.
Last night, I slept over Jess's house because "Hurricane, what? Hurricane, who? Hurricane, CBSD is really stupid and Isabelle didn't do jack poo." Please throw a stone at me and make it stop! Anyway, we worked on our "colligative properties of aqueous solutions" project (stimulating, I know) and did...pretty much the whole thing. Poster, report, the whole shebang. With our combined ADD and OCD, we managed to get stuff done.
Tonight, Dan and I went to Willow Grove Mall and got Frank's b-day present. We got in trouble by the security guy because we are SO badass...ok, we just ran up the escalator and down the other one and got yelled at. You guys take the fun out of everything. I had my normal withdrawal from not having a new CD (stupid dad hasn't gotten me a burner yet like he promised) and we went into FYE. Dan would have killed me, as well as my wallet, if I got the Dashboard CD. "Money is like SOOO overrated!" Haha, that was our phrase tonight, as were were both broke. Too bad I like music a LOT, and play the piano, but can't WRITE any myself. If I did, it might go something like *pulling from ass*...
"I hate my parents, I am a hick
My uncle rolls joints, and I don't...lick...
popsicles, but I do because I have sensitive teeth and my enamel is slowly dissapearing and...oh fuck."
Yeah, that's pretty much the extent of my songwriting capabilities. But that's all true, the enamel crap too. I think. I'm so paranoid.
I'm going to go scrub my skank/slutty ass self, and straighten my hair for the Renaissance Fair tomorrow. I'm going to go medieval...on my non-existant ass.