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Saturday, April 20, 2002
Linda and Jacquie's conversation: Dollar Stores and Douche Bags...
Me: you know what's the best store?
Me: the dollar store. it has everything
Linda: :-D I'm so glad you said that
Linda: I totally agree. It's so hard to convince people, though!
Me: i bought "Hello My Name Is" stickers, and i'm going to wear them to school
Linda: Once I bought a marker there and some posterboard, and I sat outside the place and made oversized cards to give to strangers
Linda: but I only had the nerve to hand out one of them
Me: but i'm not going to put jacquie, i'm going to put something else just to amuse myself
Me: HAHA!!!! that's bold
Me: i wouldn't even give out one! i'm a wuss
Me: i'd say hey here's a...nevermind! and scurry away like a chipmunk
Linda: :-) it took me a while
Linda: okay, here's something-
Linda: at YOUR dollar stores, do they sell fucking douches?
Me: YES!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I saw it, and i was like, holy crap!
Linda: WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT?
Me: i don't know!
Me: they had like 3 different kinds too!
Linda: I have this plan, and I've had it for a while, to one day go in there, by nothing but fifty dollars worth of douches, and walk out
Linda: to make one, simple point-
Linda: it's DISGUSTING TO SELL DOUCHES AT DOLLAR STORES
Me: HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda: I think I should make it into a crusade, actually
Linda: I'll go across the country and buy 10 or so from EVERY dollar store
Me: the douche tirade!
Linda: maybe I'll get a sponsor so I can buy out there whole stock
Me: HAHA!!!
Linda: and then burn it in the streets of omaha!
Me: omaha! it's genuis!
Linda: (becuase it's the first city that came to mind)
Me: that's great, i'll do it with you
Linda: ....let's improvise poetry about it
Me: the lady on the douche box was holding a rose or something...??
Linda: I'll write one line, you write the next...
Linda: yes, yes she was!
Me: ok! i love doing this
Linda: Ahem, I'll start-
Me: ok...
Here is the final product of our....ok her creativity. Me and poetry don't quite mix...
Linda: The smell of burning douchebags in the streets of the city
Me: Made young children and horny old men oh so giddy
Linda: The sun was setting and the stars were itty-bitty
Me: The Dollar Tree customers ponder at this disgusting sight
Linda: And let the demons of their imaginations grow unto new height
Me: And mothers cover their children's eyes, who look away with all their might
Linda: Two girls danced in victory as the flames grew higher
Me: After the bonfire flames smoldered, they threw 22 douchebags on some mire
Linda: They knew that they had burned all evil in the pire!
Me: Many dollar stores beholded this sight, and packed the douchebags away...
Linda: And that is the tale of Jacquie and Linda, who saved the day!
Woo! Douche bags at dollar stores NO MORE! Go here to see my douche crusade friend's site!
(P.S. I didn't go to the dance. Watched Gladiator. Ate Fruit Punch Rita's Water Ice and chocolate covered grapes and strawberries. Went online and talked about douches....all right!)
12:16 AM | Jacquie |
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Me in a tree. Circa 1990.
Blog Buddies.
Fight the Boredom!
Ancient Ramblings.
End Credits.
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