Life of the Bored and Taskless.

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Today was yet another pleasant visit to...BACHELISM'S!!! Ok, if you don't have the slightest iota (woo, cool word!) of what I'm talking about, let me elaborate. Bachelism, Bach, Botch, Babci, etc. = my miserable, talkative, out-of-touch and very polish great-grandmother. She lives in Bridesburg, Philadelphia which is like "little Poland." It's home of bubble butts and meat products with names you can't pronouce if your life depended on it. She enjoys my company (which is really a cleaning service) and can talk the ear off of Joan Rivers. Seriously. She has these outlandish opinions but doesn't know diddly squat about the world today. She thinks that what she sees out of her second floor window is what the rest of the world is like. Today, I polished and dusted all of her wooden furniture, "swiffed" her wooden floor, and vacuumed her carpets. I actually didn't do it half-assed like my mom would have, but my mom never goes there. The thing is, Bach and Mom are both miserable creatures and mom avoids her because she doesn't want to deal with it. If she takes that attitude, maybe when she's old I won't take care of her. Ok, so Bach is miserable, old and everything else negative, but her time will come, and she appreciates what I do. I don't complain anymore. I just do. In the end, I was $20 richer and learned lots of things. She also pretty much hates my mom, so I'm not alone on that one. I know, that was harsh, but whatever. Well mom, what you do will come right back to you later on in life. So hah!

I made the mistake of wearing a slightly low-cut spaghetti strapped shirt today. Whoops. I just grrabbed it without thinking. My aunt and I had a discussion before leaving to go to Bach's...Uh, Jacquie, that's a tad low. I know. She'll say something about it. Oh well. Maybe you should change...? I don't know, what do you want me to do. Weeell....? No, it doesn't matter, she always says things. Ok...

So later on, right before we left, I had a little, um, "incident" with my top...

:: Scene: Aunt on phone, Bach rambling to herself, er, me. Jacquie stares into space like usual.::
Laura (there's her real name for ya): Hey sexy, you almost lost them there...
:: Jacquie quickly looks down and yanks up shirt while Bach laughs and Aunt Viv points at Jacquie while mouthing "I told you!"::

I never want to hear those (1, 2, 3, 4, 5,) 6 words ever said to me ever again. ESPECIALLY from her. That was just a nasty moment. What was also nasty was that she uses worn out undies (hers) as dustrags. I had to use them as well...oh god...

Why do my brothers have to replace the word "Venus" with "Penis" whenever they sing the Venus commercial? They are so juvenile. Ok, so they're almost 8 and 9 but still! At the moment, Scott (9) is playing Pokemon and Kyle is having spasms while immitating one of the Pokemon. I should put a sign outside of my house that says "Lame Central: Home to King Dork, Rabid Dog Boy, Henry the Humper and some hobo they picked up on the side of the road who is NOT related to the previously mentioned...things." My brother Kyle was just humping his hand a minute ago. (Shakes head) What has this world come to?

Life of the Bored and Taskless.

0 Comments: